New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.