I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.