The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
it wasn't lemon gatorade
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
