Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
