I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just found puke in my bra..
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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