she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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