i was born a porn star she said
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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