nut hugger
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize