My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
