So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
