By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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