I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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