I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
