officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
