when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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