I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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