Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
