yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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