so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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