I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
