Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Randomize
