ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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