u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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