so that wasnt chicken after all
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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