her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize