Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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