just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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