Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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