is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
