OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
