woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
