no, he came in my armpit
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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