Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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