Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
