their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
