Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
