I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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