Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
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