Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
