the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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