I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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