so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
