need another drink. this is the easiest way
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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