There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
