my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize