Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
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