I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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