3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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