i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
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so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
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He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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