thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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