Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
