it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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