wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
